A Claudism is a line that sounds like ad copy but that no person would ever say out loud. This guide covers the 12 we see most often in AI drafts: how to name each one, why it happens, and how to rewrite it. It goes with the game Spot the Claudism.
Read the line out loud to a friend. If you would feel weird saying it, it is a Claudism.
Why AI writes them
A model writes from a summary of the customer, not from the customer. It reaches for lines that sound finished: tidy rhythm, a clever turn, an explanation. The persona and the angle are usually right. The words are what we rewrite.
How the game scores
Five rounds. Each round you name the tell (100 points), then rewrite the line for the customer and the problem shown (up to 100 points, graded against the checklist at the end of this guide).
How to study it
Read the table in the next section until you can name all 12 from memory.
Take one family at a time (Shape, Words, Content) and read its examples.
Use the look-alikes section before you play, since the wrong answers in the game are often close cousins.
Do the drills, then play a game in Mixed mode.
Learn these first
The 12 at a glance
Three families: Shape (it sounds built, not said), Words (it sounds clever, so nobody gets it) and Content (it explains instead of showing).
Softeners and mood words: more than you'd think, especially after a long day, cozy
How to fix it
Delete the announcement and say the thing. Swap mood words for plain product nouns.
AI draft
And it matters more than you'd think:
Rewrite
That matters:
AI draft
Cozy, handwoven rugs are usually dry-clean only.
Rewrite
Handwoven wool rugs are usually dry-clean only. This one can go in the wash.
AI draft
Elevate your home's comfort journey with seamless climate control.
Rewrite
Still getting up at 2am to turn the heat down? It learns when you sleep and does it for you.
Customer quotes are exempt. If a real person said "finally", keep it.
Family C
Content it explains instead of showing
These are the hardest to hear, because every word is fine. The problem is what the line chose to talk about.
10
The metric nobody feels
What it is
A number the reader has to compute instead of a moment they've lived.
Why AI writes it
Numbers look like proof, so the model leads with the stat from the brief.
How to spot it
Would the customer ever say this number out loud? "48 hours a year" no; "8 minutes" yes.
How to fix it
Find the moment the number stands for. Keep numbers that are felt (a time, a count of minutes, a distance), drop numbers that are calculated.
AI draft
Brushing the full 2 minutes, you two spend 48 hours a year at the sink.
Rewrite
Stop dropping hints about their bad breath. Here's your solution:
AI draft
Died 16 Times To The Same Boss.
Rewrite
Died And Lost All Your Souls Again?
AI draft
Saved to your cart last winter. Still sitting there.
Rewrite
8 months in my cart. the one it replaces lasted 8 minutes.
AI draft
Twenty years of saying "budget" in meetings. Keep it that way.
Rewrite
Twenty years of running these meetings. Today I lost the word for "invoice."
The last two show the same move: something specific goes wrong, in a way only that person would recognise.
11
The feature, explained
What it is
The line says what the product does instead of what it did for them.
Why AI writes it
The brief lists features, so the model explains them.
How to spot it
The line would read fine on a spec sheet. Or it names a setting the picture could point at.
How to fix it
Say what changed in their day, or answer the small worry behind it. Let the picture name the feature.
AI draft
Turn the difficulty down mid-fight. Works even in games with no easy mode.
Rewrite
Turn the difficulty down mid-fight. We won't tell.
AI draft
turned on Ignore Hits in the app / came back 10 minutes later. still alive
Rewrite
turned this on (arrow to the setting) / came back 10 min later
AI draft
you rub it right on the sore spot. got it online, no appointment
Rewrite
you just rub it on where it hurts. way easier than popping painkillers. i put it on every morning
AI draft
Our 3-zone gel arch system spreads pressure across 7 contact points.
Rewrite
By sixth period your feet are done. These make the last bell feel like the first.
On health products, say "easier", never "more effective": the second is a claim.
12
The polished person
What it is
A native post or a "customer" that sounds like an ad wrote it.
Why AI writes it
The model's idea of a person is tidy: short lines, scene-setting, on-message.
How to spot it
Real posts are long, plain, first person and a little messy. If it's neat, it's fake.
How to fix it
Use real words from Reddit, reviews and call transcripts, typos included. Trim a quote to the words that carry the feeling, but never reword it. Never write in a customer's voice and label it "verified".
AI draft
Halloween night, 9pm. Candy everywhere, still in the costume, and now the brushing fight.
Rewrite
halloween recap: walked like 3 miles, carried him the last 2 blocks, one meltdown over a full-size bar... asleep by 8:40. now i'm on the couch eating his candy
AI draft
First-person games making you motion sick? Do this before you play: 1. Open the app 2. Widen the camera view
Rewrite
"I went from only being able to play for 20/30min periods to 2/3 hour periods." (a real Reddit post)
AI draft
Thin glasses, two toddlers.
Rewrite
"The glass survived. From 4 feet onto wood." (a real review)
AI draft
As a busy mom, this carrier has truly transformed my daily routine!
Rewrite
my back stopped hurting on the second walk. she naps in it, i get coffee. that's the whole review
Slang counts too. It has to belong to the audience: "Bet" works for gamers, "bails" doesn't for readers over 65.
Before you play
Look-alikes
The wrong answers in the game are often a neighbouring tell. These are the pairs people mix up most, and the question that settles each one.
01 Flip vs 02 Fragment stack
Is there a correction ("isn't", "not", "wrong", "don't")? Then it's the flip. Just two clipped bits with no turn? Fragments.
"Your plates match. Your forks don't." is a flip. "LONG SHIFT. TIGHT SHOULDERS." is fragments.
02 Fragment stack vs 03 Rule of three
Count the beats. Two clipped bits is a stack. Three matched ones is the rule of three.
"Track them. Find them. Breathe again." has three, so it's 03.
03 Rule of three vs 04 Payoff tag
Is the problem the rhythm, or the last line explaining the rest?
"...That's 36 hours back." is a tag even after one sentence.
04 Payoff tag vs 09 Announcing
Does the extra line come after the point (tag) or before it (announcing)?
"Here's why brushing never got there" announces. "Now every fight counts again" tags.
05 Euphemism vs 08 Made-up label
Is it dodging a plain word (euphemism) or naming a group (label)?
"the hand that still works" dodges "arthritis". "Night riders" names a segment.
06 Riddle vs 07 Pun
Does it need the brief (riddle) or bend a word or saying (pun)?
"The shower caddy finally retired" needs context. "Don't sweat the small stuff" bends a saying.
10 Metric vs 11 Feature
Is the number about the customer's problem (metric) or about how the product works (feature)?
"48 hours a year at the sink" is a metric. "7 contact points" is a feature.
11 Feature vs 12 Polished person
Who is talking? The brand describing itself is 11. A "person" who sounds like the brand is 12.
"Our 3-zone gel arch system..." is 11. "As a busy mom, this carrier has truly transformed..." is 12.
When a line commits two
Plenty do. "It is not you. It is the timing." is a flip and a fragment stack. In the game, the answer is the tell the rewrite most needs to fix: the one that, once fixed, fixes the line.
How to fix it
Rewrite for the customer
A good rewrite names this customer's problem in their words, says what fixes it, and sounds like the format it sits in. Naming the tell is half the round. Fixing it for the right person is the other half.
Six rewrite moves
Plain sentence first. Write the problem and the fix as one sentence a stranger gets. If it's clearer than the headline, it is the headline.
Say it to a friend. Out loud, with no brief in hand. Write down what you actually said, filler and all.
One breath. Join fragments with "but" or "so". Break the three-beat rhythm on purpose.
Trade the fact for a moment. What did they see, say or search right before they'd need this?
Steal their words. Reddit, reviews, comments, call transcripts. Typos included. Never invent a quote.
Cut the last line. If it explains the joke, the feature or the feeling, it goes.
How the game grades a rewrite
Claude starts at 100 and reads it like a strict editor.
About 20 points off for each Claudism the rewrite commits, with the exact words quoted back to you.
Capped at 55 if it doesn't name this customer's problem or how the product fixes it.
Capped at 70 if it ignores the format (a text thread should read like texts).
Points for a specific lived moment, the person's own words, and a line you could say out loud. Length earns nothing.
Without Claude, the game runs a quick local check that catches flips, fragment stacks, threes, tags and hype words, but not the subtler ones.
Write in the format's voice
Format
Sounds like
Example that shipped
Static ad
One clear line a person would say, plus one plain support line
"Is your long shift leaving you with tight shoulders?"
Instagram story
Lowercase, first person, short beats, an arrow does the pointing
"baby woke up mid boss fight / turned this on / came back 10 min later"
Text thread
A friend texting: lowercase, casual, no product description
"you just rub it on where it hurts. way easier than popping painkillers"
Social post
Long, plain, specific numbers, a little guilty joke at the end
"halloween recap: walked like 3 miles... now i'm on the couch eating his candy"
Video captions
Attitude over explanation, one beat per caption
"Your game got too easy? ...Bet. Crank up enemy damage. Godspeed."
Two stacked photos
One label per photo, together telling a before and after
"Stop getting eaten, quitting, coming back, and getting eaten again." / "Turn on God Mode. Now you're the scary one."
Practice
Twelve drills
Twelve new lines from made-up brands, one per tell, in random order. Name the tell, say a rewrite out loud, then open the answer.
Sunscreen spray for a parent at the beach, problem: the toddler fights every application.
“Sunscreen isn't a chore. It's a habit.”
Show the answer
01 The flip
Chasing a 4-year-old with a sunscreen bottle every beach day? This one sprays on in 10 seconds and doesn't sting.
Earbuds for adults over 65, problem: can't follow conversation in loud restaurants.
“For ears that have heard a lot of life.”
Show the answer
05 The euphemism
Keep asking people to repeat themselves at dinner? These turn up voices and turn down the restaurant.
Robot vacuum for a dog owner, problem: hair everywhere by midweek.
“Our laser navigation maps 5 floors with 2,700 Pa of suction.”
Show the answer
11 The feature, explained
Dog hair tumbleweeds again by Wednesday? It runs while you're at work, so you come home to clean floors.
Meal kit for new parents, problem: too tired to cook, takeout every night.
“TIRED NIGHTS. TAKEOUT AGAIN.”
Show the answer
02 The fragment stack
Ordered takeout again because nobody had the energy to cook? These are on the table in 15 minutes.
Cat litter for an apartment cat owner, problem: guests smell the box.
“Litter-ally odor free.”
Show the answer
07 The pun to decode
Can guests smell the litter box the second they walk in? This one locks the smell in with the clumps.
Coffee subscription for a commuter, problem: a café stop every morning before work.
“Skip the café and save 14 hours a year.”
Show the answer
10 The metric nobody feels
Still pulling into the café line at 7:40 with your shoes untied? Fresh beans show up at your door every other Friday.
Mattress for someone with back pain, problem: lies awake because their back aches.
“Fall asleep in minutes. That's what you deserve.”
Show the answer
04 The payoff tag
Lying awake at midnight because your lower back aches? A firmer middle keeps your hips level all night.
Moisturizer for someone with dry skin, problem: skin feels tight an hour after moisturizing.
“Turns out, your routine is missing one step.”
Show the answer
09 Announcing and hype
Skin feels tight an hour after you moisturize? Put this on while your face is still damp.
Suitcase for a frequent flyer, problem: wheels keep breaking.
“Pack it. Roll it. Love it.”
Show the answer
03 The rule of three
Dragging a suitcase with a broken wheel through another airport? This one's wheels snap off and back on in a minute.
Budgeting app for a young professional, problem: money disappears every month.
“Your coffee knows where your money went.”
Show the answer
06 The riddle
Wondering where $400 went last month? It shows every coffee and subscription in one list.
Running shoes for a beginner, problem: shins hurt by week 2 of a couch-to-5K plan.
“Calling all Couch-to-5K Warriors.”
Show the answer
08 The made-up label
Started couch-to-5K and your shins hurt by week 2? These have extra cushion where new runners land.
Plant subscription for a serial plant killer, a testimonial ad, problem: every plant dies.
“This service has completely revolutionized my relationship with plants!”
Show the answer
12 The polished person
i've killed 3 fiddle leafs. this one's been alive since march and i only water it when the app tells me
Number 12 is a teaching example only. In a real ad, a testimonial has to be a real customer's words.
Before anything ships
The Claudism detector
Run this on every line before it goes into a brief. Any red flag means a rewrite, not a tweak. A line can clear every red flag and still not be good, so check the green flags too.